Artist of the Day/ Improv Everywhere

WOO HOO!!!! I did it, I downloaded a video!!!! You will wanna turn off the music for a sec, unless you want Boston to join in.

You can go here and see more fun stuff about the group:
I Love Lunch! The Musical

This is such an awesome video of this Improv group that goes around public places to perform... They call themselves "Improv Everywhere". This particular one is at the Trump Tower Restaurant. A Today's Show co-host, Ann Curry, is part of it. Waaay funny!!!

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Bumdinger 2

I have great conversations with the voices in my head. One of the more popular ones that keep popping up, or should I say...pooping up? is on the subject of....you guessed it...our own built in waste system. I have come up with an invention to beat all inventions. It is very simple...so simple, in fact, that I can't believe no one has marketed it yet.


Just take a trip to your local hospital, or medical supply and and have em hook you up with a cathater and then run the hose into an IV and...Voila'!!! You got a build in relief & hydration system. I think there should be some kinda filter in there somewhere. It's a work in progress.


As for the matter of the numero 2...a colonoscopy bag. Or you can do what I do, wear brown on my long runs, I think that might help create a camoflauge....you know, just in case.



................................................................................................................................


Bumdinger 2


I've thought n thought about it;
I know I'm not alone.
On matters of holding it
in on the long runs home.


It's something we all face,
I'm certain it's a curse
There's no way around it,
we've faced it since our birth.


Haven't figured it out,
this subject on the buns?
Let's just say that it gives
new meaning to long runs.


I think this is so cool,
I can't believe it's true.
That someone hasn't yet,
made a Bumdinger 2.


I know you want to know.
What's the Bumdinger 2?
I will try and tell you
without really telling you.


Just run 'round the corner
to your local drug store.
Grab a hose and needle
and prob'ly a li'l more.

No drugs are required,
to make this Bummer work.
Just a bit of effort,
sense of humor with quirk.

You'll be makin guesses
I'm trying to be discreet.
Ladies don't talk this way,
not even on the street.

It provides relief for
the all purpose athlete.
No more off road stopping,
now running is complete.

So when you see me running,
don't even bat an eye
at my weird contraption.
Just let me run on by.

Cell Phone Services

I regret to inform you that my cell phone has died. It died approximately at 1:00 PM on Tuesday, March 10th.

Services for Li'l Red will be held at the LeBaron household at 3:00 today. Please don't send flowers, cash gifts would be greatly appreciated.

Roses are red

and violets are blue.

My cell phone is dead,

So I can't call you.

I lived so independent and free

When no one could get a hold of me.

I thought that I didn't need you in life

'til my husband had troubles getting hold of his wife.

Come to find out it was nice with a phone.

The benefits are numerous, I'm certain unknown.

Now that you're gone I feel lonely and lost.

To have a phone work I would pay any cost.

I didn't need you and was feelin' just dandy.

But the text was so good and really quite handy.

So, I sit here and wait, wait, wait, wait... for a new one to come,

Wasting time writing a silly phone poem.

We're waaaay better than Ringling Brothers, what?

What can I say? It's Tank

My little Sunbeam, in the red.

6 yr old Buster tying Loo's dress.

My dear friend asked me at church, "Are you writing these things down?" Here's me writing it down. Oh my goodness, I know we all ask the question, "Why do we even go to church we're not getting anything outta it anyway?" And, "Isn't it breaking the Sabbath to go or be apart of a circus?" Apparently not, we do it every Sunday.

So of course my morning began with the normal Sunday scramble, we got to church in time to take my 2 and 3 yr old to the potty, my boy Tank is 2 1/2 and just learning and didn't go, but he was big to try. We get back in our seats just in time to start the circus. I decided to write things down on the program and every time my 3 yr old girl Loo Loos saw me write on Tank's back she wanted me to write on her back. It was pretty funny.

First things first. Have you ever arrived at church only to find out your have a hole in your stocking, something unknown on your skirt, sticky stuff on faces and TooTHPaSTe on your daughter's dress? This is just the beginning. Thank goodness for the all-terrain wet wipe, although it couldn't fix the hole in my stocking. Hmm, maybe I shoulda packed some duck tape.

Next up is the juggling act. Tank wants me to hold him and so does Lou, time to hand over the baby to DH and try to balance two kids one on each knee, so far they're happy. Oops, they start to fight, it's time to send one over to grandma. Thank goodness we are in the same ward.

We sit in the very front, I'm a LeBaron now, buck up it's tradition, I guess. So we are setting the standard for the ward or the substandard, or the standard not to be. People that used to sit behind us now sit a couple rows back. Some brave the 2nd row behind us, k the Gifford's do, bless their souls. Maybe it's dry council Sunday and they're into a little more action, I don't know.

The Copy Cat. I love it when it's time to sustain someone into a calling and they say "Any opposed" and my 2 yr old's hand almost always goes up. Hey, he saw us with our hands up, it's his turn.

Walking on Eggshells. During the Sacrament I just pray the kids won't touch all the bread when they're finding the biggest piece. And I hope and pray they don't dump the water from their semi-empty cup into the other cups as they put their cup back into the tray. And please cover you're mouth when you cough and sneeze. aaaak, I'm going insane. No one's ever experienced that I'm sure.

How does he do it? The Incredibly Small Gum Chewer. Somehow 2 yr old, Tank got to church with some mysterious gum. My guess, from the trash, but he is enjoying it soo much and it's keeping him quiet for now. So I was very amazed that after eating the bread and the water from Sacrament he managed not to swallow it, impressive.

I always take baby Dolly and nurse her after Sacrament, Loo came along. So we get to the mother's lounge and I can hear my son Tank over the speaker. I guess that's one advantage to sitting on the front I can still keep tabs on my family. If I can hear it from the mic who can hear it in the chapel? aaaaahh too loud

Last act same as the first. Loo decides she needs to go to the bathroom again, Dolly's now in a nursing coma, asleep and here I am trying to keep her asleep and take care of Lou's business in a very small stall. Not funny.

Oh the joys of motherhood. Why do we take them to church? Why? You get hear the most precious and unforgettable prayers at night. Over time you know you are somehow taming your wild animals and training them to be church-going, proper citizens. Not to mention you're going to have grand kids someday and so the circus goes on, only this time you simply smile because, hey, pay backs.

My Man's on Youtube

What can I say? This is pretty self-expanitory. My man knows how to survive, and took the time to document it so we can learn how to live under dire circumstances. Man vs. Wild eat your heart out. Although, this video brings up the question which one is wild, the man or the wild?

Running...a love/hate relationship

My dear friend that I go running with at 5:45 AM is now going with her husband, (I think). And here I am sittin' like a frog on a lily pad doin' nuthin'. I am soo used to getting my exercise all over with by 6:20 that I don't even think about it during the day, (I am right now obviously) so it doesn't get done. Well, the other day I went by myself and here are a few things I learned:

Don't go right before dinner, you come home beat and you still hafta make it.

Don't spit against the wind, you can guess why. So turn your head and spit, and you'll see a nice end over ender goin' to the side of the road, and not in your face. (yup, girls spit, well this girl does anyways).

You don't hafta hold it in when you're by yourself, yup let-r-loose, no one can hear you. I might as well say it, I'm referring to, if you haven't already guessed it..farting (omh, did I just say the

f-word?)

It was during the day, so whenever someone passed me I tried to look like I was in shape.

You're running and you hope the running pants you chose camoflage your hinney, so it's not one jiggly mass catching up to you. You don't worry about that when it's still dark.

K, even the smallest of them need a sports bra to keep them in place, it's hard to run with your arms being clutched up to your chest, plus it's a bit embarrassing. And in my case it just may make my milk come in.

You're wondering why I run? I don't know..it might hafta do with that I can. I love that I can move. I am sooo grateful that I can move, when I'm pregnant I don't wanna move and I'm soo big all I wanna do is lay down and veg. I never wanna be heavy like when I'm pregnant, so I move.

Oh, that just reminded me, my dad has arthritis reeeally bad and he told me once that he used to dream that he was a little boy again and he would be running, soo sweet and sad. I can run, thank you to our Father in Heaven that I can run.

Powdered Toast?

I heard someone say that is just wasn't right to have food in cans, like powdered honey, powdered eggs, powdered butter, powdered milk etc. I am one of those people that uses canned products on an average 3-4 times a week. Depending on whether the cow is producing well I don't use as much powdered milk. Sometimes there is a lot and it needs to be used or I need to use up the buttermilk left over from making homemade butter (yum! Is this butter hand shook? "What About Bob?"). Oh and the eggs, yes powdered...they work just as well. Although you can scramble them I don't recommend it. It is very uncanny how their consistency is a lot like real eggs, only different. Plus with the price of eggs nowadays you know powdered really works. Hmmm, I wonder if they have powdered gasoline? That's pushing it. Who remembers the Ren and Stimpy cartoon and powdered toast man? Fortunately, that's the only place powdered toast resides is in cartoon land. What about the powdered honey? Better save that for another day. Blonde question: Is there such thing as powdered water for my food storage, you know where you can just add water? Ha, ha I made that up myself.