The LeBaron Bunch, kinda like The Brady Bunch only BeTTeR

"Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night. but the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."
George S. Patton, U.S. Army General, 1912 Olympian

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Bumdinger 2

I have great conversations with the voices in my head. One of the more popular ones that keep popping up, or should I say...pooping up? is on the subject of....you guessed it...our own built in waste system. I have come up with an invention to beat all inventions. It is very simple...so simple, in fact, that I can't believe no one has marketed it yet.


Just take a trip to your local hospital, or medical supply and and have em hook you up with a cathater and then run the hose into an IV and...Voila'!!! You got a build in relief & hydration system. I think there should be some kinda filter in there somewhere. It's a work in progress.


As for the matter of the numero 2...a colonoscopy bag. Or you can do what I do, wear brown on my long runs, I think that might help create a camoflauge....you know, just in case.



................................................................................................................................


Bumdinger 2


I've thought n thought about it;
I know I'm not alone.
On matters of holding it
in on the long runs home.


It's something we all face,
I'm certain it's a curse
There's no way around it,
we've faced it since our birth.


Haven't figured it out,
this subject on the buns?
Let's just say that it gives
new meaning to long runs.


I think this is so cool,
I can't believe it's true.
That someone hasn't yet,
made a Bumdinger 2.


I know you want to know.
What's the Bumdinger 2?
I will try and tell you
without really telling you.


Just run 'round the corner
to your local drug store.
Grab a hose and needle
and prob'ly a li'l more.

No drugs are required,
to make this Bummer work.
Just a bit of effort,
sense of humor with quirk.

You'll be makin guesses
I'm trying to be discreet.
Ladies don't talk this way,
not even on the street.

It provides relief for
the all purpose athlete.
No more off road stopping,
now running is complete.

So when you see me running,
don't even bat an eye
at my weird contraption.
Just let me run on by.

3 comments:

Lorilee said...

Oh sweetie....I thought you didn't have much time on your hands with all the running you do, but come on girlfriend, your song, poem, rap...whatever it is, truthful or not, it's gross. LOL

Kerri said...

Andrea, I'm so sorry that I didn't get your comments! I had no internet access until today (we moved)... and tomorrow is your race!!!! I'm dying to hear how it goes. And yes. Poop is a problem. My solution: (and it works) 2 chewable immodium tablets 2 hours before my long runs. It WORKS.

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. Hope you get through the wall and that everything is great!!!!

Steven Vawdrey said...

Very clever! And, I'm so sorry that I can relate to this...

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